Yes, she does see normal groups. She is not a big pill pusher - she is very into lifestyle changes including diet and exercise. She is very big on having balance in our lives. I am not saying that that we have the corner on the market when it comes to stressed out lives.

What she does see is a group of women who spend a lot of time with their kids and get no time for themselves. I see it also. We teach our kids, take our kids places, run a house. Even social activities with other moms tends to revolve around meeting moms when the kids are with us. Not that that is bad, but I do think we need time to regroup.

I also know a lot of moms whose husbands are very demanding and don't help out. Thank goodness mine does and makes an effort that I do things without the girls.

I think there are some things on that list that are spot on! Unfortunately I can see myself in some of the things. Thankfully I tend to be a relaxed homeschooler and don't have too many outside activities but I can sometimes mentally overwhelm myself. I think that sometimes we homeschool moms put a lot of pressure on ourselves because we feel our kids are a reflection of the job we are doing. Not only should our kids be academic superstars since we homeschool but they should all be God-fearing saved Christians at an early age and be able to amaze people with their loving, caring attitudes toward their parents and siblings. So it falls on Mom to make sure that this gets done so we don't get embarrassed by our kids. Yes, it can be a pride issue but surely I am not the only one who feels like that?
squidward

Just call me Tom Cruise, but personally I don't like antidepressants and feel they should be used only in extreme circumstances. I don't think they help one iota what Mrs Mayberry calls "environmental" depressions or what I call "your life sucks" depression.

When as a society we first started jumping on the antidepressive bandwagon, the tricyclics made us all fat with much bigger problems to deal with. The adjunct mood stabilizers made us have bone problems in later life, some congenital malformations in our kiddos, etc. And now the designer antidepressants give us things like serotonin syndrome (life threatening), s*xual problems, and probable late in life memory loss. And I do not like the homeopathic approach to much anything right now since there's no guarantee what's on the label is what's actually in the bottle as well as generalized lack of appropriate studies. (Bah humbug!)

But yet, people love a treatment, preferably in pill form!

I'm not totally a Tom Cruise extremist in that there are some people who do actually have chemical imbalances in the brain and need pharmaceutical help. But before one goes to the local doc or naturalist or whatever and says, "I'm depressed", he needs to figure out if it's because his life has outside sucking factors that could be changed.

Also, keep a "happy" diary which basically lists daily moods and every external force each day. Perhaps one can figure out if the mood is related to a kiddo's behavior, monthly cycle, DH's mood, bill paying time, or whatever. Also, list the external forces that make one feel happiness. One might be surprised to find that happiness is triggered mostly by one's own actions because that forces the good endorphins.

Right now I'm in an angry mood, can you tell? LOL!

sqidward, I think that is close to the truth. The pressures that a lot of us feel does contribute to the stress at times. Thankfully, I've been hsing long enough now that it's a little easier to put them off a bit. But, especially when it's family, this can still be a challenge. Society has put so many pressures on dc and the system doesn't help as much as it likes to think. It takes a lot to be an involved parent, regardless of the educational choice that's made. The pressures that this involves for those of use who care this much would be the same regardless. For some of us, it's part of our nature. For others of us, it's a little easier to let things "roll" away.

K

Well, interestingly, I don't know a lot of home schoolers (in our area) yet I see in non-home schooling folks what you described. I think it is a societal issue going on, whether or not one home schools. So no, I don't think it is directly related to home schooling.

And I love what Miss Mayberry said about paring down. I think huge swathes of the population, home schooling and not, need to pare down vast portions of their lives and simplify.




Rejoicing in JESUS,
Mommy4Jesus

I think it largely comes down to a spiritual issue. With all that we have to juggle in this fast-paced society, and especially as hs moms, it is often hard to have a "Mary" heart in a "Martha" world. Myself included. It is HARD to fit it all in and find time to spend with the Lord, too. Often times, it is quality time in the Word and prayer that gets pushed aside, even though deep down, it is what most of us desire the most. We think we can "do it all" through our own efforts, and the truth is, we just can't.

Well, if you want honesty, here it is... I've lived my whole life trying to make people happy. All the moms from hs group really aren't for ps. I have to admit, I was a basketcase at home. I was SO CLOSE to taking anti-depressants and (for a very short time) had my dd10 on Concerta. I just couldn't feel settled with my decision to have my dd on medication. I pressed in and asked God for a miracle. We found a private/christian school for dd and I got to the point where I didn't care what anyone thought of me, they were not in my shoes. I always hear hs moms say, "My child will never be on medication!" Guess what, they've never dealt with a child that has multiple ld's. My children have said to me that they feel sorry for many of the kids from hs group. My son 12 told me that they all seem sad and look tired. All of that to say, my dd10 is in private school (doing great!) and my ds is home with me (doing great). And I am at home (doing great!). Depression and stress is gone! My dd has not been on medication since she started school. I was trying to make hsing work for my dd when it clearly wasn't! I personally don't think God wants her to be on a stimulant and me on an anti-depressant to have her be hsed. I am happier than I have been in years. Do I love my dd, yes. Can we hs together? obviously not. I see many or most hsed moms sad, irritated, and some flat out miserable. I sometimes wonder if those dc would be better attending a public/private school?

I dont thoink we can judge another family on what works best for them. My sister was a champion hser but has now put her dcs in a cs. She got to the point that she could no longer hs. Her teens needed mor than she could give and its ok. However we need to choose to be happy. We are hurting financaially just to put food on the table but my happiness come from healthy children and dh who is working as hard as he can and ultimately from the Lord. I CHOOSE to be happy but what really counts is family even if I have to live in my vehicle. KWIM!