I feel so dumb posting this - I feel even worse that this is bothering me....but you ladies are a great sounding board, so here goes....

I have a friend who has gone through a year or so of trying times and big struggles - both financial and emotional. I have been there, offered help, e-mailed, called, etc. It seems much appreciated at the time.

By the way, before all of this trouble she was the most caring person.

Fast forward to now - times are much better for her & she is back on her feet for the most part. I feel completely left out of her life - no communication initiated by her & after having gone through a rough patch last week, have not heard one word from her. It's almost like she has stopped caring about how others are doing in the midst of her storm.

I don't lend a hand, pray for her, reach out to her in hopes that I'll get 'payed back', but I just feel like this friendship has lost some of it's depth.

Ugh, I sound selfish when I write this out & maybe I need to stop feeling pity for myself.

Thanks for listening anyway :)

No advice, but big hugs.

jules

Thank you - it's hard to explain the entire situation here.

My feelings are just hurt - friends are so precious to me & I don't want to lose her. I just feel like maybe she'd be fine if it was lost. I'm feeling overly sensitive, so maybe time will change things.

i've had friends like this.
typically, this sends a signal to me that "they" don't value the friendship as much as "i" do...or perhaps we don't define friendship in the same terms?

at any rate, I continue to care about the person but I do not invest as much time/energy into the friendship. saves me alot of emotional energy.

Martinbeef - that is it exactly!

But the 'true friend' in me doesn't want to invest less - but I am at that point. It hurts me more to 'give more' than to 'loosen the ties'.

Thank you :)

you have to love yourself more than the friendship...BTDT...:) Chin up and move on to new things, new people...new friendships!Most people would be thrilled to have a friend like you...

I agree w/ mb. It's hard when we value the friendship more than the other person. I've had a few friends like that and it is very hard. We can still love them and when we see them have a nice chat but you do have a tendency to hold back a bit. That's OK. You will find some other friends, hopefully one who will return your depth of caring. It may be a couple of friends who meet your needs in different ways that the other one had met by herself. People are different, and that's hard sometimes.

Now is the time to step back and ask God to help you heal from the hurt. Lean on Him to get you through and bring someone else into your life. In His time, He will.

(((((hugs))))) We care and love you!

K

I can relate. It seems no matter where we live we end up surrounded by "people in need". We used to be so gung ho and try to help all that we can - not actually looking for gratitude or even thanks, and in the end, it never fails that these people will get upset or even mad because we did this instead of that. It is unreal how you can give and give to some people and they are never happy with what they get, they always want something different or something more. We still try to help people when we can, but - as it should be - we know that, usually, there will be no earthly rewards - and we aren't looking for them - but all of our reward will be in heaven and be better than anything we could imagine. So don't let it upset you that this person isn't responding to your needs, God will in due time.