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And now....my sister

re: And now....my sister

Yes my mom was that way too!

Sorry for being unclear, this is a poor medium for communicating...


:)

re: And now....my sister

Psa 27:10 KJV When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Isa 49:15 KJV Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

re: And now....my sister


Lizbeth, you said your mom was like that. Is she still like that?

Candycane, I was much more hurt than angry -- really, more bewildered than anything, until the Lord began to open my eyes to the reality of that situation. It was a very painful process, but at the same time it was very freeing, because He showed me that I was not responsible for her anger, her rage, her rejection, the fact that she has always tended to project her own thoughts and reactions onto me, believing me to be like her. In truth, our personalities are completely different -- I am like my dad and his mom, which has also always been a bone of contention. ::sigh::

Case in point: She made a remark a few years ago about a "good family fight". I was so shocked by that, I have forgotten the context of that remark, but I know it just sort of popped up in the conversation. I love peace, I don't enjoy conflict. That may be the biggest indicator of the difference.

ETA: I meant to say, Thank You for your kind words to me. :)

This post was edited on Sep 13, 2017 09:27 PM

re: And now....my sister

I treat her differently, I mean I respond differently and also limit my time with her.

I know it upsets her that I have sort of distanced my self but it is good. I know she is safe and her favorites take good care of her.

Every now and then I get to feeling bad and decide to spend more time with her, and it never goes well and I quickly remember why we need a little distance.


I used to feel very hurt by her, and then I felt very angry, but now I have peace with her.

My pastor helped me sympathize or humble myself and see that she is just another sinner in need of forgiveness just LIKE ME.

What I blessing to see her in this way, and when I did I finally could let go of my hurts, because I know all my deep dark secret sins and should she see that list she certainly would feel justified in thinking low of me, but thank God he forgives me and her.

I was also able to let go of anger, and finally began to see that she did care for me, she served me, well even. She kept me alive, fed and clothed me, and kept me generally safe.

She has done good works that the LOrd gave her that benefitted me directly.


Sure there are things that I wish were different.

But I cannot change that.

I just have to play the cards that were dealt me.

re: And now....my sister


Your story sounds like mine, Lizbeth. ((((hugs))))

Does she treat you differently from your siblings (assuming you have any), or does she treat you all the same?


Psa 27:10 KJV When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Isa 49:15 KJV Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
--------

Thank You for posting these, Thinker! :) The Lord gave me that first verse years ago when He first began to open my eyes to the reality of my situation.

Just recently while reading through Isaiah (which is very dear to me), that second verse stood out to me as it never has before, and oh what a blessing that was! The Lord is so good!!! :)

re: And now....my sister

Oh, I'm the black sheep.

Actually that has always been my joke and claim.


Just recently I met an old friend of theirs, and when I gave him my name he said "oh you are the black sheep..." and he went on to tell how they used to play cards with my folks and that is how my mother described me.

I wanted to die, it took all my concentration to finish up the conversation with dignity and scoot away as fast as I could before I cried.

How painful it was to have my joke/suspicion, ratified by this stranger.


Ok I just tried on the word ratified there, I am not sure if that was a proper use, but it felt good...lol

re: And now....my sister

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.

I have had to deal with some very difficult situations with close family members including abandonment and mental illness.

The thing that has really brought healing is praying that God would bless my family member(s) daily and every time I felt hurt/sad/bitter/anger/resentment. This is the only thing that has truly brought "peace which passes understanding."

So my advice would be *every time* your sister comes to mind, instead of dwelling on the hurtful things that she has done, pray for God to bless her.

Admittedly, sometimes this was the last thing I wanted to be doing, and it got easier to pray for God's blessings on the person(s) the more often I did it.

Here are some verses:

[Luke 23:34] But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."

[1Peter 2:21, 23] For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, ... and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

[Matthew 5:44] But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

[Luke 6:27-28] But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

[Romans 12:14, 21] Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

[1Corinthians 4:12] ...when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure;

[1Peter 3:9] not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

re: And now....my sister

""The thing that has really brought healing is praying that God would bless my family member(s) daily and every time I felt hurt/sad/bitter/anger/resentment. This is the only thing that has truly brought "peace which passes understanding."

So my advice would be *every time* your sister comes to mind, instead of dwelling on the hurtful things that she has done, pray for God to bless her."""



yes, this has been my approach. Sometimes, when I get tired or overly frustrated, it all goes out the window...LOL. But largely, this is what has kept peace for many years.

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