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re: re: re: re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

There are other countries that have a different view of the stay at home mom, btw. In Germany, for example, it is not considered strange to be home, and in fact it is considered understandable, because there is so much work that needs to be done. Women expect to spend a certain amount of time keeping their home cleaned and cooking food. They expect to need to be available to their children when the school-day is over. Etc.

re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

Somebody has to take care of the dc.


Well, it is considered acceptable to take care of children when it's a "career" that is "earning money," i.e. day care, professional nanny, etc. THAT is okay. But to do the SAME WORK for free as a mom is ignorant, unwise, possibly lazy, is the way it's presented.

Of course it makes no sense.

In nature, animal mothers give birth and care for their young. And since most of the world believes in evolution and thinks we're animals, it would even make sense from that pov alone that a woman who gives birth to a child should therefore be the caretaker -- even if someone doesn't believe in God and the Bible.

But no, because they've given up on any absolute standards.

re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

Oh yes, ironic isn't it.

Not unlike what happened with this doctor. It was acceptable for this young girl to want nanny the kids for pay, but to have aspirations of raising her own kids, this was unacceptable.

She only spoke this way to me because she knows about some side work I do and she sees me as a career woman.

I was thinking about the role paid work has in our lives.

I am reminded that in part the reason for child labor during the industrial revolution was because factory owners found adults to be unreliable work. What I mean is, they would work for 6 weeks and then because they had "enough" they might not come back to work for a year or even more.

The factories however required steady and constant workers to man the machines. So what happened? They went after children for labor, knowing that if they could get them addicted to the money and all the material things the money would bring, that they would be able to indoctrinate them into being good little factory workers for life.

This fascinates me, so many today work and work but never have enough, we all have been taught that more is good and righteous, by our culture.

This is why my button was pushed, they have it all, homes, cars several businesses and glamorous vacations and all the material things life can bring and it is by the sweat of their brow, but with in that at times it seems it is easy to look condescendingly on those who have another set of values.

This post was edited on Aug 29, 2017 04:32 PM

re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

Historically, at NO TIME UNTIL the present have women NOT been primarily sahm's.

True, and I don't know what the stats are now. When my dh was in the military, virtually all the wives I knew (military and civilian) were SAHM's. When we returned to civilian life, again, virtually every woman I knew (all ages) were SAHM's.

A few had careers (a couple worked at the CDC, a couple were teachers, ditto for nurses) and most of them said over and over how much they'd love to be SAHM's. Most of the working moms I knew had part-time jobs so they could be at home when the dc were and/or worked out of their homes. One was a real-estate agent and showed houses in the evenings while her dh was at home with the dc.

I keep seeing articles about young(er) women who have college degrees, but want to rear their children themselves. They don't want their dc to grow up as some of them did, with working moms. I can identify with that.

I didn't know that about Germany, but that's fascinating. I know that Russia went the extreme opposite direction during the Soviet years, and required that of women in other Soviet countries, even to the point of doping them heavily during childbirth and not allowing them to bond with their newborns in the hospital afterward. :'( Eta: Those women were *required* to go back to work in a short time (4-6 weeks), most for menial pay. I don't know what that's like now.

This post was edited on Aug 29, 2017 04:40 PM

re: re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

Most of the military wives I know are also sahm's. And whenever I meet someone for the first time, and in the course of conversation it turns out I'm a sahm (Americans always establish what we do right away >smile< ) they always say how very nice to be able to do that, and about 80% of them will tell me they wish they could stay home with their kids. (A large percentage of them will also say they wish they could home school.)

I think with a few generations of women working full time so far in our nation's recent history, the tide has made a slight shift, and there are definitely segments of the population seeing the damage that caused, and wanting to do something differently.

re: re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

I may be nuts, but my first thought when I was reading this was that the doctor was jealous of the young girl's ambitions to succeed as a SAHM and took it as a personal threat to her own choices.

re: re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

In our family we are multi-generational. My in-laws live nearby and have always shouldered some of the weight of our family. They keep an eye on the children, help with the food (think big garden), etc. They are 80 so their working days are slowing down, but we help with their income and with their physical needs as much as they need it (they have residential AAA services 24/7 lol). We live separately but in tandem if that makes sense.

Now we have one grandson so far. They live fairly close. Ds and wife both work together. Their son is 2 and is with them a lot, but he also floats among us relatives to give him a change of scenery and play time away from the greasy shop.

It is neat to see my other adult children stepping in to help take care of the little guy.

Another daughter has a couple of foster children who she brings over a lot. They all know where the great grandma's cookie jar is. I am the younger grandma who lives next to the one who doles out cookies. Lol.

We are on a farm, btw, and I have always had to work at least part time here.

This post was edited on Aug 30, 2017 06:45 AM

re: re: re: My doctor pushed a button yesterday...

Country Sister she has confessed in the past, when her children beg for her to quit and come home, that she wishes she could, but they have bills to pay, you may be right, and often it is the case that people who are not quite all the way comfortable with their choices lash out as they are trying to convince themselves they made the right choice.

Mayberrymommy, you are so richly blessed! I wish I could live just one day in your shoes!


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