My DH is constantly correcting our DD and his corrections are what drive me crazy, not the bad manners. After she got her permanent teeth, she can't help but eat with her mouth slightly open because the teeth don't fit.

I feel that as soon as they get their first boyfriend/girlfriend, the manners magically appear. In the meantime, good manners should be taught, but not at the detriment of having a decent, comfortable family dinner.

I like Ellie's comment of gentle reminding.

Agreeing with Martinbeef here- only unlike her I don't have the satisfaction of having teens or adults who actually have made it through one dinner yet'

I'm sure I'll be reminding my kids till they're 17.

Yes we do. How formal they are as far as usage of utensils depends on what we are eating. But we always take turns saying grace and they keep track very well of who is next. We make sure there is enough for everyone and everyone is served before we eat. No talking with mouth open or inappropriate conversation when eating. We use "napkins" Ok they are usually paper towels but we use them. We say can you please pass and serve in order. We take care of the younger kids and make sure they do not get skipped. No elbows on the table and all that. And in all honesty it is kind of funny becasue I do not need to nag, they correct each other with manner checks. They do the same thing with dress looking for fashion faux pas.

We have had other kids over and it has been very interesting the lack of manners in some. I think that many families just do not bother to sit together to eat anymore is part of the problem. And if they do not learn at home they are worse at someone else's house.

This has been very good for me. I've realized a couple of things. One is that my kids do have a lot of nice manners..saying grace, asking to be excused from the table, appropriate subjects, staying in your seat, no eating until everyone is served etc.

But where I've been tempted to let go is in some of the more formal manners of no elbows on the table, no talking while eating, napkin in the lap (the kids do this in restaurants but not at home), chewing with your mouth closed. But after reading all the great responses, I'm encouraged to keep plugging away (gently, consistently, lovingly) at working with them. I think my giving up is because of 1) Its usually just me and two little ones so I felt like it was better to just let them chat since there weren't two adults trying to talk (even on weekends dh usually woofs his food down and then goes and watches sports on tv in the family room); 2) I think I've allowed the kids to eat too fast so they, like daddy, woof their food down and then want to go play. If I somehow insist that meals last longer and take away the sense of urgency, then they will probably be more willing to talk in between bites instead of constantly needing to put the next forkful in.

So, I'm going to keep at it and try to slow down our mealtimes. I also think I have too high of expectations for them. They are great kids and usually apply what I've taught them right away but some things just take longer I guess. Like the full 18 years! Its funny, when the kids point out that daddy doesn't do something that I require of them I'll remind them that it was grandma's job to train daddy, not mine. Hopefully my SIL and DIL won't have to say the same thing someday!