And do you insist that your kids use them at home? My kids behave pretty well at the table but I've tried teaching them not to talk while eating and to chew with their mouth closed. It seems like it doesn't happen unless I'm constantly reminding and correcting. And to be honest, its no fun for them or me. They aren't burping outloud or trying to show what's in their mouth on purpose or anything. Most of the time its just a lively conversation that I actually enjoy. It seems like good family time and communication. But if I insist on them waiting until they've swallowed to say something, then the whole atmosphere is quiet, conversations don't really happen. I'm not really getting on their case, just reminding but it seems like the manner itself is what's curbing the normally fun dinner conversations we have. If its up to me, I'd rather have conversation and forget some of those manners but I'm not sure if I'm doing them a disservice for later. My dh doesn't use "proper" manners either but isn't around at dinnertime during the week anyhow. My kids are also great at restaurants so overall I'm fine with their table skills but if you read some of these manners books that cover the elbows on the table and all the other stuff, it just seems like I'd rather have a more relaxed atmosphere. Hopefully I'm not alone here.

i'm kind of old fashioned and i think table manners are very important, especially if one chooses to be a "professional person" someday..having nice table etiquette is a must in the business/professional world.

but anyway, we insist on a few things:

napkin on your lap
elbows off the table
left hand on the lap (if you are right handed) or vice/versa...
chew with your mouth closed.
do not begin eating until mom (or the server) sits down and grace is said
Say "would you please pass?" whatever...no reaching !!!
No Slurping, belching, etc.
learn to cut properly with knife/fork (you would not believe how many people do this incorrectly)
do not use your fingers to push food onto a fork or spoon!!!!!

now having said all that, we are a very gabby bunch at supper. none of these expectations have made us less social. but they do make it nicer to be with one another at meals. :)

We have basic rules like...

1. Don't shovel food into your mouth.
2. Don't eat with both hands.
3. Say, "please, pass..."
4. Absolutely NO animal noises. NONE. I mean it.
5. No griping about the food.
6. Stay in your seat!
7. Do not raise your voice above the level of normal conversation. NO one wants to hear you yelling in the restaurant.
8. No bodily noises. If they happen by accident, you better say, "Excuse me." This includes loud smacking, gulping water, etc.
9. Don't be the person who grabs the last bit of food. Offer it to others FIRST.

Stuff like that. General talking, interrupting each other (politely but with lively conversation), etc. doesn't bother me, but I don't want wild animals at my table.

Pottersclay, I'm laughing at your wild animals comment but I know what you mean and we have pretty much the same civil conduct rules at our house as well.

MB, I had to giggle at yours too b/c my dh is a VP in a decent size company though I'm sure he is just more relaxed at home and uses his best manners when he's out with the bigwigs. At least I hope so. =)

LOL

This made me chuckle - because I have to deal w/ all of them continually, including dh! LOL

I was raised w/ table manners being extremely important - don't let Grampa catch you!!! And, I feel they are very important, too. But I try to balance it w/ reality. I do constantly remind and hope that it sinks in. I think as w/ most people, we tend to save our "best" for others, unfortunatley. But I want them to KNOW how to behave, for whatever role the future has for them.

I will say that we have to add:
Sit up w/ both feet in front of you. (I have OLDER dc who insist on curling up to eat dinner! ugh!!!)

K

Yes we do table manners just via our meals and conversation during dinner. The older girls never need a reminder, but my almost 3 year old, oh my LOL. But he's an angel in public so I guess I'm doing okay LOL

~Melissa~

SUNNY...my husband has a "tendency" to have very lazy table manners at home too! but when we are out in public, he's Mr. Perfect! :) LOL. men!

Of course. At every meal. Gentle, constant, consistent corrections and reminders.

Miss Manners says it takes 18 years of constant nagging to rear a well-mannered adult. :-)

Our manners include holding eating utensils properly, putting napkins on the laps as soon as we sit down, eating with mouths closed, taking small bites (IOW, not shoveling food down into mouths), asking for food to be passed instead of reaching across the table, not talking with mouths full, saying please and thank you, asking permission to be excused. Also, this isn't required at home, but when we are guests, we wait for the hostess to take the first bite; we don't ask what is being served; we thank the hostess before we leave the table.