for my ds14 in particular--he has no "sense of urgency" about much of anything! now, some of that is my fault, but i think some of it is because of homeschooling. this year, i have started timing him on certain assignments, tests, etc to give him some boundaries. i think someone posted an article here once by a college professor who said that some hsers struggle with the timed aspect of school. i thought that was a good idea!

oh yes...the competition factor. My younger dd would have died being homeschooled. She is driven by competition, and without it, wouldn't do as well.

I think my son would do better with a little competition....but I don't know. But that is something definately missing in our homeschool environment.

I agree with Puffpony and others about the competition. I also agree with singing ranch about the fact that I believe my kids would do better work for someone else. Also, I do think structure is important. Jrp--I experienced the benefits of structure with workboxes, just like you suggested. I was so surprised when the first day of workboxes my ds (who seems to be so unstructured and sporadic) told me, "I like our new school. It's hard, but I still like it." This from the son who likes to flop down on the couch or bed to do his schoolwork. With workboxes he sits in a desk and uses the velcro numbers to show what boxes he has completed. It is amazing what a certain amount of structure has done for him. I am not a structured person, so I crave it but have a hard time implementing it. I think we do our children an injustice when we are totally lacking routine. It is amazing how a little bit of structure eases Sunday School classes, day care centers, nurseries and even work environments. Why wouldn't it help home schools? Maybe your kids will work a night shift and have to adapt to a different schedule than what you had when you were in school, but at least you learned how to conform to a schedule. I do fear that the haphazard way some hsers do school could affect the way the children grow up "non-conforming" to any situation they don't feel "comfortable" with. Sadly, I know some grown-up homeschoolers who do have this problem. On the other hand, I want my kids to be creative, flexible and to be able to think "outside the box." We must try to find the balance. For me, workboxes added the structure with the flexibility that I needed.

Agreeing with puffypony...my son would really benefit from seeing what other kids his age are doing.

I think it would encourage him to strive for better, not just getting it done.

Our main concern is that dd is an only child. She is super outgoing & has a lot of fun w/other children, but our schedules are so opposite everyone else's that she doesn't often get to meet up w/her friends and just play.

Today she complained about "being stuffed in the house all the time." :0( I took her to the park to eat lunch and blow off some steam. It helped, but she said it wasn't the same as running around on the playground at recess w/kids her own age. (Everyone at the park was pre-K or younger.) Sigh.

Some little thoughts about competition...

For older students, there are options such as online classes which can provide some "competition" academically.

Two of my older kids (13 & 15) are participating in a homeschool competitive speech & debate club through NCFCA. They have been challenged to higher levels of excellence in many areas--speaking, obviously, but in order to speak well, they have to write well! They have to research and document sources well. In order to do impromptu speaking it helps to be well-read and well-versed in history and current events. They can do "interpretive" speeches which bring literature to life--again, needing to be familiar with quality literature, being able to analyze the characters, etc. My 15yo is the one debating which adds entire new aspects of understanding logic, government structure, economic policies, etc. Last year was the first year we participated and it has been extremely beneficial for these two children. They have blossomed with good relationships as well--where I live the number of homeschoolers dwindles in the teen years, so these friendships have been a particular blessing. The kids in our club, and our region, compete hard but it is friendly competition and they encourage each other, congratulate each other, pray with each other, etc.

Having said that, my oldest son (who has graduated) also wanted to do NCFCA but we simply couldn't commit to it at that time. God opened other doors of opportunity for him to develop his skills and to build relationships. He is in college and doing great. His "lack" of competition did not hurt him at all.

For my own kids, competition at earlier ages probably would have only been superficial motivation that could have led to pride or discouragement, or a dependence on reward rather than character. That's just my family--I prefer to leave the competitive aspects for when they are older. Even then the temptations are there, but they are opportunities to work through biblical thinking and character.

Just my two cents.
Chrissy

jules, he's how old?

When my teens were younger, we tended to be very relaxed and flexible. Naturally, as they've grown older more structure and higher expectations have been implemented.

Our full enrollment in Seton Home Study (Catholic) has been both a blessing and a challenge. Meeting deadlines, taking tests, and doing it for a "real school" (their words, not mine!) has really upped the ante. It is more work, and it is more fulfilling to them. Because they can chat with other students on the Seton message boards, they know the level of work other students are putting out. Seton grades some of their work and they take those assignments more seriously than when mom ever asked them to write a 3 page paper.

So, I'd agree with those who are pointing out that either full enrollment, or a co-op or online classes as the kids get older is a great way to help them transition from childhood to adult-level expectations in education.

However, I think a good base for that is exactly what you are doing now. As an adult in the work force, I am expected to set my own priorities daily. I tackle the things I least "want" to do first. I try not to procrastinate on unpleasant tasks. But since I'm not working like a robot on an assembly line, there is lots of freedom and flexibility. We need to learn how to manage ourselves in the interior life. . .no rigid structure implemented over us for a certain number of years (k-12) can be automatically assumed to be internalized. For many, when years of schooling or military service, etc., are over. . .they are totally lost without that imposed structure. So, perhaps the better route is training in how to set priorities and deadlines with the internal motivation to get the work done?
Jen

My kids do the same thing and while at first it upset me and I said you dont need permission to use the bathroom or get a drink etc until the first time they just jumped up from the table in the middle of the lesson with no warning, I then decided the whole raising your hand was nice in that I could get to a stopping point.
That being said I think we focus to much on what our kids are missing out on when we should be focusing on the benifits and what they are gaining.
I have friends who say how their kids get stomach aches on the way to school and beg not to go, who try to get the school nurse to call mom to come get them, another one who after a month of school said he finally felt a little safe going to school now because the boy who was threatening him was kicked out of school(6th grade) one whos kids were sent home with a note explaining why police dogs were at their school(a 1st grader was selling pot) I think I could go on and on and on. My kids have never had a belly ache when it is time for school unless they are actually sick they have never felt unsafe(except that time we had a science experiment go wrong :P) Have never had to try and convince someone else to call mom because they were scared, sick, or just needed me. They have tons of friends all of whom I also love. They are smart, bright, caring, sweet, etcetcetc.