This is a really hard area to deal with, at least it is for me. I struggle because I really fear that people will judge me or my children when/if we are not up to par with the "smartest of the smart." Because I think my children are basically intelligent, it often frustrates me when they seem to underacheive. However, my dh told me last night that maybe they are just not "wired" the same as I am/was. School wasn't a breeze for me, but I did what it took to make the grade. Sometimes I worry that my kids are underacheiving in areas because they are homeschooled and don't get that sense of wanting to excel due to the competition that is provided by other students.
That having been said, there is the possibility that they would feel belittled or scorned if they were in ps and others were better at certain subjects and made them feel "dumb."
Farmschool, your post was encouraging. I definitely take my job as a home school mom seriously and sometimes we put in as much time or more a day than psers. However, I was discouraged by my son's posttest in Grammar last week and feel his handwriting does look like a much younger child. But, how much can I do to motivate them to acheive. My mother told me recently that building them up is much more important ultimately than their excelling. A poor self-concept is detrimental to all of life. (My mom is not a huge hs advocate either, so I was a bit surprised at this.) Sometimes I've failed to encourage and be patient as I taught because I was so bent on their acheiving. I feel bad about that and pray that I will find the balance.
This has been a very interesting thread for me, and I appreciate the posts all of you have posted.

aclark1611 My dd 9 sounds a lot like your daughter. She really just started reading well this past year. She doesn't quite get math, we are still working on adding and subtracting. But, she is so creative! She loves art and is trying to learn cake decorating. She will check books out at the library and try to teach her self different things. I personally find that a wonderful skill to have!
squidward

I know unschoolers who never took a test but have gone to college. Keeping strict records, tests, portfolios, giving grades, etc. may help a professional teacher, but may not be all that helpful to average homeschoolers. I also know former teachers who write out their lesson plans, even though they use a curriculum that has it laid out for them already - they like to do it, and, I assume, that's how they were taught to do it.

I don't really give grades in elementary school (just what our umbrella school requires), but we will in Jr/Sr high. If they get something wrong, they go back and correct it, so I'm not sure marking it wrong would be helpful. If they consistently get something wrong, we go over it. My kids don't have a problem with misspelling things. That's not their weakness...but they do have other weaknesses and all we can do is make sure they get it right before we move on.

"I'm a little worried about my own dc. I know I'm not giving them what they would get in a more structured environment and that bothers me."

A more structured environment? That's the key to making them love school? Really? I know you don't live in our school district. If you did, you would say they wouldn't be getting bomb threats every few days, bullies in the bathroom, ever-present "resource" officers, and a revolving door of principals, kids sassing the teachers, passive teachers. Sounds more like chaos.

Our schools just got back their "report cards" and nine of them got F's and even more got D's. Now THOSE grades are helpful. ;)

If you want them to have a structured environment - make it structured. Of course, it won't make them appreciate school - or YOU - any more than they seem to now , but it might serve as a wake-up call.

Drag their little buns out of bed at the crack of dawn, make 'em go stand in the cold for a while like they're waiting on the bus, make 'em sit in a hard kitchen chair, don't let them snack while doing their work, don't let them talk while doing their work, make them raise their hand to ask a question or go to the bathroom, have a set-in-stone meal time (and if they snooze, they lose), etc.

I would say rough them up while they're in the bathroom or call them mean names or make fun of the way they're dressed...but that's a little much...for now! ;)

Yes, I'm evil.

But my kids have heard others talk about the problems of our school system, and all I have to say is "I have the enrollment office on speed dial". That straightens them out really quick. Because every once in a while they forget how good they have it and this tactic jogs their memory.

This post was edited on Nov 06, 2009 12:43 AM

I just discovered this teenage text talk about 2 years ago. I thought their spelling was atrocious. My brother, who has 2 teenage girls, who are public schooled and are excellent spellers explained it to me. It is a sort of teenage slang.

The misspellings are a way to differentiate themselves from adults who use standard English. It is meant to upset us. It's the equivalent of unusual body piercings or tatoos. It bothers adults, so it's cool. So, your reaction is not unusual.

For teenagers like my nieces, who are able to go back and forth between this teenage slang text language and standard English, it works fine. But for many others, the texting misspellings creep into their school papers. Talk to any freshman English professor and they will tell you horror stories.

It's probably less prevalent among homeschoolers than with public school kids.

The crucial thing is not to panic so much about what other homeschoolers are doing, which is something you don't have any control over. Concentrate instead on helping your own children to achieve excellence.

Homeschooled kids still do much better on standardized tests than public school kids. Don't get worried about what public school kids are doing. They are probably concentrating on football games, fights, pep rallies, social status, gossip, pop stars, parties, fashion, etc.

Relax. If you are really worried, have your kids take a standardized test and see where they stand. I'm sure they are doing fine.

Best wishes.

Saucer,
See, my guys get up in the morning and do farm chores. All day is intermittent farm chores. That's why I feel I don't have enough structure. It's all strung together here and there. Lots of hs'ers get to sit down and have set times for school; we don't. ;)

The misspellings are a way to differentiate themselves from adults who use standard English. It is meant to upset us. It's the equivalent of unusual body piercings or tatoos. It bothers adults, so it's cool. So, your reaction is not unusual.
**************

Sorry, I have to disagree with you here. I do text messaging too, and those misspellings are because there are limits to how many characters you can use per message. BTDT takes 4 characters, "Been There Done That" takes 20. 4 takes 1 character vs. for takes 3, etc.

And no, I don't have piercings or tatoos.

"See, my guys get up in the morning and do farm chores. All day is intermittent farm chores. That's why I feel I don't have enough structure. It's all strung together here and there. Lots of hs'ers get to sit down and have set times for school; we don't. ;) "

Wow - a farm! I would love to live on a farm! I get soooo tired of suburban life! I saw a commercial on TV and told my husbad he should quit his job, we'll sell the house, move to the country and raise alpacas...he didn't think it was such a good idea! ;)

But I digress. Your problem isn't structure. Living on a farm, as your children have responsibilities, they certainly do have structure. We don't live on a farm and we usually start school after lunch. We don't necessarily sit at the kitchen table - they go in the living room or their rooms, except for the things I have to help with. We usually get through when we get through.

In fact, my middle and I did "night school" last night, finishing up something. She didn't like it at first, but we had some great discussion with her LA work (we got off on a rabbit trail about silkworms), and she ploughed through the math. My husband doesn't get home until late a lot of times, and we finished up just as he got home.

But, like I said, if you WANT to make them do, say, morning chores, then Math from 8 to 9 am and LA from 9 to 10 am then break for more chores, then more school at certain times - you're the boss and you can do that. But don't think that a brick and mortar school could give them more structure - even if your schools are considered good. At least, IMO, they aren't nearly as good as the education your kids are getting growing up on a farm. (I am so envious!)

Any spelling problems with your children can be remedied. I don't think it has much to do with their friends. My oldest is an excellent speller and I have only used a spelling "program" with her for one year, and she's in sixth grade. I have seen the same thing with some of her friends - homeschooled and otherwise. Kids just have different gifts.

The texting language did originate with texting. And for older adults who text it begins and ends there. The difference is that for teenagers, the texting lingo is the cool way to write e-mails, write notes to friends, etc. Most anything they write is in this language. For adults who text that is not the case. Their use of this texting language is restricted to texting, not their normal way to write.